5-7-06

I’ve waited for you oh so long

In this castle by the sea.

Made of bricks worn down by time

So much like you and me.

I listen to the waves crash on,

They’re whispering your name

Telling me that since you left

I haven’t been the same.

The angel you left over me

To protect me and to guide

Told me while we watched the moon

He’s sure to me you’ve lied.

That knight who stayed with us last spring

Said to me last night

“Put down that pen and take my sword!

He’s winning sure this fight!”

So, Prince Charming, is there truth

To what our friends have said?

Have you left me here all locked up tight

So you might be free instead?

If that is so I must explain

How it is I feel.

I don’t know what your stories said

But I won’t be made to kneel

Let alone to cry and beg;

You are so confused.

I was a wild one before you came

No way will I be used!

So take that charm and all your words

Ride out on your high horse!

An abandoned princess is not so bad

I suppose I could be worse.

The Trouble with Society

I am sick of people telling me

How I should live my life.

Home of the free, land of the brave,

But it’s all full of strife.

If you love a boy and you’re a boy

Then you can’t say I do.

If you take a drag outside your walls

Your whole damned life is through.

If you say this while they’re thinking that

Your mind they will destroy.

You are crucified and left alone

If you won’t be their toy.

Banish all abortions,

Snap your seatbelt tight.

And no one has said a fucking thing?

I tell you, it’s not right!

I’m sick of war and needless death

All the reasons why

We’re sending kids to foreign lands

Just to watch them die.

If this is our America

Built on blood and tears

Then Christ, I’d hate to see it

In another forty years.

*I wrote this when I was nineteen years old in response to some stuff that was rejected and demanded as a result of a local election (that was in '06) and I find it sad that many of these things are still true today. I remember writing it thinking things would have to get better...

12-27-07

Come with me to a secret place

No one will see us go.

It’s beautiful beyond your dreams,

At least for all I know.

I found it once but years have passed

God knows it could be changed.

A man I loved, he took me there

Before we were estranged.

Sunlight and the warmest breeze,

Flowers, fragrant, sweet.

It all warmed even his cold heart,

That first taste of defeat.

But that, as I said, was long ago

For all I know it’s dead.

Just like the love that once grew there

Living only in my head.

Still, it wouldn’t hurt to try

Let’s go there tonight.

So I can see just one more time

That brilliant lover’s light.

6-1-10

I feel I’m at a cross roads

With death upon my heel.

In this land of dreams and freight

It’s hard to say what’s real.

I see your smile across the edge,

From the mirror’s gaze

And just as quickly you are gone

Beyond the murky haze.

Clocks turned back, some move too fast

Each path, a different way.

If I can’t make out the real from fake

I’ll never see the day.

The moon is low, the sun burned out

This is an evil place.

You swore you’d follow anywhere

Why can’t I see your face?

8-11-09

                                             

Death knocked upon my door again,

He came to call last night.

We sat on the porch to have a chat

And watch the pink twilight.

“Your number’s up,” he said to me;

“But I’ve come to make a deal.

Pick another to take your place

And your life I will not steal.”

I shook my head and smiled bright.

“We’ve been through this before.

If you say that it’s my time to go

I need to hear no more.”

“Ah, but think of those who love you!”

He replied with innocence.

“How will they feel to visit you

Behind a fortress fence?”

I closed my eyes and took a breath,

He knew just where to aim.

“You took them all, you know you did

That much is still the same.

I would not choose another soul

With people who will mourn.

When I’ve nothing left to hold me here

Besides your hateful scorn.”

Holding up a bony finger

As if to prove a point

I listened for his next advance

And rubbed my achy joint.

“But it’s pain I’ve brought this time around.

Your end will not be nice.

You’ll suffer so and die alone

Are you sure you won’t think twice?”

By now the moon was rising

And I watched the darkened sky

As I thought of those, both friend and foe

That I could send to die.

“I do not fear the pain you’ll bring

I’ve hurt like hell for years.

We all die alone no matter what

I’ll not shed any tears.”

He knew he had been beaten,

He had no chips to throw.

This was a game we played so much,

He knew how it would go.

“No one to mourn, no mind my scorn

And you do not fear my pain.

It seems that life has left you here

To rot or go insane.

So I’ll go away and leave you be

But I’ll be back next fall.

You’ve won this round and the one before

But you cannot win them all.”

I watched him go and wondered how

A man with so much power

Could miss so much in all we said

In that brief and wasted hour.

It wasn’t life that left me there

In my shack by river’s end.

It was Death himself who walked away

When I needed most a friend.

Loneliness

I hear the train roar outside

Such a solitary thing.

I thought with freedom I could fly

Now I flap my broken wing.

My dream in life used to be

One of me alone.

No one there to bind me down

Where my wild seeds were sown.

I thought that I would be content

Just to live beneath the stars.

Now I sit alone in these four walls

And listen to the cars.

The life I dreamed up clearly changed

Since I first saw your eyes.

My sense of love has grown too deep

Since I first heard your cries.

My heart, it aches to be with you

As I lay here without your touch.

The night outside seems ominous

And the silence is too much.

Resentment

Here I go again

With all my memories of you

How stupid can I be,

Knowing everything you do?

Compassionless, without a soul

Do you even bleed?

Sitting around like some kind of god,

Too damned good to need.

I keep telling myself you’re not that great

And that I do believe.

But why can’t I escape your face

Or your wicked spineless deed?

You drained away my sanity,

You broke my bleeding heart.

You read my thoughts all too well

And tore my dreams apart.

With all of this kept in your mind

Can you answer me a riddle?

What would make me cling to you

And your false truths, so brittle?

Someday we’ll be dust in the wind

And then I will be free

Of all the things you’ll never do,

Of all you’ve done to me.